My son, Keaton, just turned 6 months old and naturally, my emotions have been all over the place about it. Part of me is so excited because he’s learning new things and doing new things, so it is so amazing to watch him grow and develop into a boy I love so dearly and have so much fun with. Then the other part of me keeps asking where did the time go? And of course the mom guilt creeps in… Have I spent enough time with him? Have I been too busy trying to work, go to school, and get things done that I have missed out? Am I a bad mom because his food isn’t always organic? Does he know I love him? Do I give him enough attention everyday?
As moms, we tend to doubt ourselves A LOT! Personally, as a young mom, I constantly feel the need to prove myself, that I can do this, just to show those who thought I couldn’t. Can I just come right out now and say THIS IS RIDICULOUS?! No matter if you start your family at 16 or 45, no one really knows what they are doing, and if they act like everything is peachy all the time, guess what?! They’re lying! I think it’s so important that all the mama’s out there take time to pat themselves on the back! There is no such thing as a perfect parent, and there is no handbook that teaches what’s right for every child. We are all doing the best we can, and if you ask me, it’s pretty damn good!
With that said, I felt like the best way to express myself and hopefully relate to someone reading this was to write a letter to my precious, first born baby. My “Sweet Keat”.
To my sweet Keaton James,
I absolutely cannot believe you are a half a year old. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I had to support your head? That you rolled over for the first time? Laughed for the first time? Everyone always says that it will go by in the blink of an eye and I just brushed it off like “Yeah, sure whatever” and now here we are. I remember the nights that you woke up every two hours, ate for half an hour, and we got zero sleep. I remember your dad and I thinking, “Is this ever gonna end? Are we ever going to sleep?” I never thought I would miss those days, but being half asleep, rocking you, and watching you fade into sleep brought me just about the most fulfilled heart I’ve ever had. I’m sure one day you’ll read this and think it’s so silly that I am this emotional and you aren’t even a year old yet, but I cannot even explain the amount of love and joy that you have brought to us.
You are such a blessing that God has given us. Before you we were just two young kids in love, and now, because of you, we are a family. I love that you are the happiest baby I have ever seen. I love that you are so excited that you can’t stop moving for one second until you pass out asleep! I love how you snuggle, but at the same time think it’s the funniest thing in the world when you kick me and I pretend it hurts. You can play rough and are definitely all boy, but you can also give the best kisses and lean your head up on me to show how much you love me.
You are the best thing that has ever happened to us and I am so proud to be your mommy. I will do my best do guide you and shape you into the best person you can be, and I promise you are doing the same for me! So just know that when you’re a teenager and you can’t stand me, I am only doing the best I can. I will most definitely make mistakes and do it wrong at times, but there will never be a time that I don’t love you with my whole entire heart.
Also, if you are near the Boerne area, Chanda’s Photography is the best! Nearly any kind of pictures you want, not just babies, and they are all amazing! Definitely go check her out!